MY Near-Fatal Failed Suicide Attempt Story
My near death failed suicide attempt story began on October 23, 2003 after months of depression when I thought I knew how to commit suicide by taking enough pills to kill an elephant only to survive by a miracle that was God's intervention. Tanya, my estranged wife, said that an EMT told her that I had thirty minutes to live without medical intervention when they found me thirteen hours into a self-induced coma. Was I brain dead before my attempted suicide or after I overdosed on prescription drugs? I awoke from my from a self-induced coma and near-death experience from my drug overdose two and a half days later. I should have died from drug overdose and my brain should have been reformatted like a hard drive.
I should have read up on the statistics; four out of every five suicide attempts fail. My suicide attempt was a mistake for which payment was due immediately. I had nerve damage and foot drop in both feet and my right foot was twisted as a result from the drugs I had taken in my suicide attempt. I hobbled out of bed realizing that my suicide attempt was a mistake because I was actually glad to be still alive. After three months of rehab I was homeless for nine months. I should not have ignored my depression by not seeking treatment which was my responsibility. What you choose today, you live with tomorrow.
Many people at some time in their life have suicidal thoughts. Some of the reasons why I attempted suicide included depression, unemployment, eviction and social pressures. A psychologist once told me that I had enough reasons to commit suicide but not to try it again. After a near death suicide attempt, it is unlikely a person will ever try to attempt suicide again.
Life is not only precious but living your life in a developed country is a privileged life compared to living your life in a third world country. There is always someone in the world that would be willing to take your place and fight your fight. They will gladly get on medication that is not readily available in their country, learn to live with your pain, adapt to your depression, overcome your fears; not die by suicide and live the rest of your life at peace. This is why death by suicide is an unforgivable act because there are so many others who would love to have your life.
Suicide includes any irresponsible, dangerous, or reckless behavior that causes your premature death; except for dangerous situations someone may encountered in the military, public service, occupation, sports activity, or an unavoidable accident.
Illicit drug abuse, drunk driving, binge drinking, and overdosing on prescription drugs is playing Russian roulette. In each case you knew there was a chance that the shot you were about to take could cause your death. It was your decision to insert the needle into your body and take the shot of drugs that killed you. It was your choice to shoot shots of alcohol and the binge drinking that lead to your drunk driving death. It was your decision to take more than the normal dose of prescription drugs or by taking a combination of different drugs without reading the instructions - disclaimers - that caused you die from your drug overdose. Just like it was your decision to place the muzzle against your head and pull the trigger of the gun that shot the bullet that killed you. In each case you took your life and died by suicide.
Suicidal thoughts can last for days, weeks, months or even years. How to stop thinking of suicidal thoughts is different for everyone. If you start changing your perceptions it will help you feel better. I want you to know that you are not alone in your experience. The answers to your questions are all around you. Sometimes, all it takes is to admit to yourself that you need help to effect a positive change when it comes to your mental, physical, emotional or spiritual health. Call 800-273-TALK (8255) if you need a friend to lean on.
If one person cares this much about saving your life then why would even think of killing yourself. Eighty percent of all suicides fail. What are you crazy? Your free will is taken away. Your life becomes far worst than it is now. Your life is a total mess as a result of your decision. I ask you from my heart to reconsider killing yourself because I wanted to live when I awoke from my coma of two and one half days. It's a fact that nearly everyone that has a near-fatal suicide attempt story to tell wanted to live after their suicide attempt.
Most people never try to commit suicide again because it made their life a living hell.
Don't become a near death suicide attempt story. You are not always in control of what happens to you, but you are in control how you react to it. You can allow your experiences to destroy you or redefine you. How you view your life will help you to survive. No one can defeat you. You can only defeat yourself. Take control of your life and be a survivor. Forget about whom you were; accept who you are, and who you can be. A choice.
Sticks and stones may break your bones but you will decide if the words and names will ever hurt you. No one can defeat you. You can only defeat yourself. A choice. How you manage your expectations is the secret to happiness and finding peace in your life. One perspective at a time.
Gain pearls of wisdom by clicking on each title. The pearl will be on the top of each page. What I have learned from my personal experience can give you new hope. You are not alone and you are not forgotten. Your life will improve. Peace is for those who seek it.
I did not realize how much I had before my hurricanes occurred but each time after I survived the storm. I wanted to live. There is always a possibility of a storm on the horizon. I believe that you too will find wisdom in these pearls that have washed ashore as a result of my hurricanes and count yourself a survivor.
"Suicide is chosen; it happens when pain exceeds resources for coping with pain. Suicide is often referred to as a permanent solution to a temporary problem. You are not alone and you are not forgotten. Your life will improve. Talk to someone who cares. Call 800-273-TALK (8255) if you need a friend, to lean on."
- different unknown authors
"Suicide includes any irresponsible, dangerous, or reckless behavior that causes your premature death; except for dangerous situations someone may encountered in the military, public service, occupation, sports activity, or an unavoidable accident." - Brian Good